On Thursday, I turn thirty years old. On the Thirtieth of this month, I’ll be received into the Episcopal Church. In doing this, I’ll be breaking a stated promise to myself — I swore never to be called a Christian again. I didn’t want to proclaim allegiance to any group that I felt was exclusionary in any way. What I didn’t expect was finding such an inclusive, vibrant, accepting community in the hallowed walls of a church, which I have at Holy Innocents Episcopal Church in San Francisco. I want to start this blog to explore the ambivalence of my faith, and how it is being shaped radically by the experience of becoming a mother. Perhaps by making this internal revolution more public, I will be able to make meaning of these things, which come mostly to me in images and feelings.