When I threw down the gauntlet to write on my blog every day for awhile, I had no idea where it would lead. I still have this little judge on my shoulder when I write these daily posts. He’s chunky, and balding, and has a heavy gavel that he bangs on my head while screaming “Nobody wants to hear so much about your kid, stop writing about her! Make every post a perfectly crafted piece of writing! Grumble grumble grouch grouch!” But screw him, this has been awesome. I have gotten so many great suggestions about Olive’s first year birthday party, and about starting the preschool search.
Today, when I sent Olive to the nanny for a few hours and went on a mini-shopping spree, I felt all of you cheering me on, as you’d read and commented on my desire for a non-nursing/maternity wardrobe. And that’s great, because I needed the support. When one is super broke, and consequently has not bought something new in a very long time, buying one awesome item leads to a few more, since you of course have nothing great to go with that one amazing piece. For instance, I did get out to Nooworks today like I promised, and bought two incredible dresses, one to wear tonight to my husband’s show, and one for Olive’s party. But, as I mentioned in my previous post, I only have one pair of shoes, and since I wear them every day they are quite dingy and won’t work with the said incredible dresses. So, I went to Therapy and the cute salesgirl helped me find a badass pair of black platform wedges that go perfectly with pretty much everything. Since SF is notoriously foggy year-round, you can’t really just wear a dress bare-legged, you have to have a pair of leggings in your bag at all times for when the weather instantly shifts. However, all my leggings are maternity, and therefore baggy & weird now. And if there’s anything that’s Not Cute, it’s a baggy legging, unless of course you’re wearing your leggings as pants because that is even worse. So I hit up Multi Kulti (I had some credit there, yay!) and got black leggings, as well as a little skirt for dance class, as I’m going to four classes a week now at ODC, and majorly running out of dance clothes.
Anyway, I spent all the money I possibly can this month, but I don’t regret a single purchase (not yet. Buyer’s Remorse may still set in, but gratefully it has not hit me up so far). I seriously feel like a new woman — one who looks less harried and down-on-her-luck, a little more like I’m living in my own wonderland. And it is because of you, dear readers, that I had the courage to go for it. Shopping since I had a baby has been pretty rough. First of all, I never have the time or money, but adjusting to my new body has been hard, too. I remember once, soon after Olive was born, I went shopping at H&M for tops I could nurse in, as I ridiculously had no clothes that gave me easy boob access. Joel came with me and held the baby while I tried on literally 50 things. NOTHING worked. It was actually a sort of traumatic experience, as I left in tears, frustrated that I’d wasted those few moments between feedings on trying on shitty clothes that only made my wonky post-baby body look even worse. I went home and bought a few nursing tanks & tunics from Target online and left it at that. Since then, I haven’t really ventured out to try again, and when I have it has been more of the same. This is the first time I went shopping and actually enjoyed both the process and the result. So hooray for me, hooray for school, Nibb High Football rules.
I think that what would make this blogging every day situation more satisfying and less judgey-judgey is if I had a friend or two who was blogging every day as well. As I wrote in my post about Who Does She Think She Is, I believe that women crave community when they are creating art. So, anyone up for the challenge? My new blog friend Tanya, perhaps? Someone who has been reading this blog and thinking “I’d like to write, but what would I say? Who would read it?” Well, I would. I would commit to reading your blog and commenting on it, every single day, and you’d do the same to mine. We wouldn’t shame each other if we didn’t get to it that day, but it would spur one another on to know that someone was waiting on your words, and writing their own as well. Maybe it would convince my little judge friend to go take a nap. Or a bath. He seriously needs to wash his ass.