Today I am finishing up three and a half years at a job that has been so much more than a paycheck — it has been a calling.  What I am learning is that I have several callings — to be a mother, a wife, a chronicler of souls, a writer, and, perhaps, something new I have not discovered yet.  Endings are always difficult, but it is especially hard when it happens in a way you would not have chosen for yourself.

Lately I feel like God is really pushing me and my family into the unknown, asking us to prepare for a great change, and the push has not been a gentle nudge but rather a series of strong shoves.  It is very apt for the season of Advent, actually, which is a time of preparation for the pains and joys of the incarnation.  Anyway, this poem by the great Mary Oliver is totally my jam today:

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ by Mary Oliver in Dream Work (1994)

Also I just NEED to laugh today, so there is this, which always makes me smile:

One part inspiration, one part humor — that is how I will get through this time of endings and new, scary beginnings.

4 thoughts on “Endings

  1. Bahahaha that is a hilarious pic.

    Man, your blog is just absolutely the best thing ever. That poem is fantastic, really speaks to me where I’m at, too. Loved the music post from Joel, love all the previous posts….I could just comment the same thing on every one of your posts but I think that might cross into stalker territory.

    So just now that I am always reading your posts, loving them, and keeping you and the fam in prayer. ❤

  2. LOVE Mary Oliver and needed soul food today. Thank you for sharing your life so generously on this blog,,,i have loved reading and learning from you and I will be hoping and praying that 2012 brings delighting surprise and provision. xx

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