How a Style Blogger Saved Me From Hating Everyone Forever.

Having an active, extroverted toddler in a tiny apartment means we spend very little time at home during the day. We leave by 9am, return at noon for lunch and nap, and leave again by 3pm at the latest, out all afternoon until dinner and bedtime. Olive is incredibly social, which means we get into all kinds of interesting conversations with strangers.

Last Thursday, we had had one too many adorable (Olive) and awkward (me) encounters when we had my least favorite kind, one in which someone’s curiousity about the ethnic make-up of our family makes them say completely insulting things. It was not the first time I heard this particular jem, but it somehow seems to make me angrier every damn time.

Random playground person: “Your daughter is so beautiful.”

Me: “Thank you!”

RPP: “She must look like her dad.”

Seriously. Seriously! People say this to me ALL THE TIME. I want to shake them when they look at me with that stupid smile on their face, thinking they have said something novel, hoping I will then enlighten them with why my child and I have different skin tones. Inwardly, I inform them: “You just inadvertantly called me ugly and said I don’t look anything like my kid. I NO LONGER WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!”

Instead I just say, “Nope, you’re incorrect. We have the same features, just different coloring.”

RPP: “Yeah, I guess the hair makes a lot of difference.”  I let it go from there, walking away feeling all kinds of grumbly.

We headed to Mission Community Market, where they have live music and hula hooping for the kids every week, right in the middle of the open air market. I was doing my thing with Olive, trying to dance off all the bad juju, when a woman interrupted my reverie to tell me she has a blog that features stylin’ parents once a week, and she wanted to take some photos of me and interview me for it!

I was totally caught off guard by this, especially after my previous interaction that day. Incredibly flattered, I agreed, and enjoyed her light-hearted, encouraging energy throughout. To be honest, the experience totally turned my day around. “Not all strangers are asshats!” I thought, as well as, “I really needed that today.” So, click the link to Debbies blog, and see the piece that made me not give up on humanity entirely:

Photo by Debbie Mink

9 thoughts on “How a Style Blogger Saved Me From Hating Everyone Forever.

  1. That’s so awesome! Well-intentioned comments that end up being insulting are definitely infuriating, especially if the other person is oblivious, but it’s great that the encounter was followed up by such a self-esteem boost! And for the record, I think you’re beautiful and am totally jealous of your outfits.

  2. Rhea, this is amazing! I’m convinced that I was somehow partly reaponsible for this encounter since I dressed in such hideous mom-clothes that day. The universe had to balance itself out. So you’re welcome. Also, I love that Olive was dancing with the town drunk.

    • You’re adorable, and you rocked that Grandmamiform. And yes, it was so funny to look over and see Olive and Monsieur DrunkyPants — he was shuffling his feet while sitting in his unnecessary wheelchair, eyes wild, unintentional dreadlocks flying across his reddened, broadly grinning face. They were mimicking each other — Olive learned a few new dance moves, so I think it was a win.

  3. I guess if I ever run into you on the p-ground I’ll say “She must look like her Blogger.” 😉 I think you deserve a medal for having held on to your self identity. I’m pretty sure my son (Ethan, 2.5) nabbed mine in the womb.

  4. Wow, Rhea glad I could turn your day around! And thanks for calling me a “style blogger” love it.

  5. I am so glad the fashion blogger lifted your spirits after the stupidhead lady! You truly are a Super Chic mom!! You’re inspiring me to try a little harder this summer. Let me know how I’m doing!!

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